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Posted by: Jax on Oct 01, 2002 - 04:03 PM
Television
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"Celebrities" take on Boot Camp for $50,000.
Celebrity Boot Camp
Save The Drama For Your Agent
By Jacalynn West
www.MediaFiends.com
Anything with an asterisk*, was said to the camera.
The DIs are Francisco, Rosenbum and Moore. The celebrity recruits are David Faustino - Bud Bundy from Married With Children, Coolio – Rapper, Tracy Bingham – Baywatch, Nikki Ziering – Playboy, Price is Right model & former wife of Ian Ziering – Steve on 90210, Kato Kaelin – O.J. houseguest, Fabrice Morvan – Surviving member of Milli Vanilli, Tiffany – Former Pop Star, Vitamin C – singer, Barry Williams – Greg Brady and Lorenzo Lamas – Falcon Crest & Renegade.
The DIs meet the new recruits. Right away they are in their faces and yelling at them. Coolio is made to take off his sunglasses. It is really funny watching them get screamed at like that & I don’t think I could keep a straight face. Coolio refuses to shave his head but the do shave off his mustache. Faustino is the only one who lets them shave his head.
The DIs rip through their bags. Ziering has to pretend to use a cellphone. Williams had a cd he did and they make him sing it. They make Coolio rap and then told him to do a boot camp rap and he smiled and couldn’t do it. Bingham was made to put on one of her vests & hot pink go go boots. Vitamin C had to balance a bag on her head. Tiffany had to sing her song. Francisco tells Lama he’s wanted a Harley his entire life. Faustino was asked if Peggy does his laundry.
They get their uniforms on. Vitamin C was yelled at for putting her cover on inside. She cries and said it feels like 10 years when it’s been 3 hours. Rosenbaum said they will not let her fail.
They walk and Williams tries to lead a cadence. It doesn’t work.
*Faustino thinks they are being a little rough on them but doesn’t know if it’s cuz they’re celebrities. *Vitamin C said it’s so chaotic. *Lamas said it’s not fake and he was shaking. *Coolio said it’s too much like jail and he doesn’t like it.
It’s Day 2. *Williams said Vitamin C said she would leave rather than fly. They get on a plane and she does it cuz Francisco told her too. *Francisco said she sucked it up and saw outside the box. They are dropped off and have to walk until they come to their camp.
They choose 2 team leaders. Alpha team leader is Bingham. The rest of Alpha squad is Coolio, Vitamin C, Williams & Kaelin. Bravo team leader is Faustino. The rest of Bravo squad is Morvan, Tiffany, Lamas & Ziering.
They take a strength test. First is how many pull ups they can do. Coolio does 10. They have to run a mile. Faustino is first and does it in 7 minutes. Next is crunches in 2 minutes. Ziering got in trouble for asking Bingham how many she did.
They are taught how to make their beds. *Faustino said he’s been a spoiled child actor his whole life so this is hard. Coolio asked if they can make a bed board to help and Moore said no.
They get to eat. Williams said he had no idea how long the day would be. After that they get to shower. Morvan said he needs a bandage. Rosenbum looks at Coolio and asked if it’s been 15 years since he shaved his mustache. He said yes. Rosenbaum said he looks better. *Coolio said in his neighborhood they call it booty face. He has big lips with no mustache and that’s not cool. *Kaelin said you have 30 seconds to go to the bathroom & it’s not enough time.
Lights out.
They are woken up after 5.5 hours of sleep at 5am. They are screamed awake. *Ziering said it was awful and they were all ready to leave. *Faustino was this close to saying see ya later. *Tiffany said there’s no way to prepare for the yelling. She is in a bad mood. *Coolio said he is one of like 6 people talking about quitting. They get to have breakfast.
They get inspected. Coolio is caught with a muffin in his pocket. He is made to do push ups and they put the smooshed muffin underneath his face. He hits his face into it ever push up. *Coolio said they are getting to him and making him lose his cool.
They have mission training on the beach. Some have to be “dead” & the others have to carry them. Bingham carried Faustino. *Bingham feels great for carrying someone heavier and wants to look at herself nude in the mirror cuz I guess one day makes a difference in your body. Tiffany carried Williams.
Coolio is getting turned on by DI Moore and likes her bike shorts. He thinks she likes him too.
The Mission is called Operation E.P.I.C. Extract Pilots Indemnify Cargo. They have to get their intel that tells them where the downed pilots are and a missile. They have to bring all 3 back in 25 minutes. This is a 1 platoon mission. If they complete it they get a 1 minute phone call.
Alpha gets the intel first. They run off without waiting for Bravo. *Faustino said it instantly became a competition. *Bingham felt she had to step up as a team leader. *Coolio said she’s a girly girl and could lead them to the beauty salon.
*Faustino said Lamas is jealous he is leader. Lamas reads the intel to the squad. The 2 squads meet and yell a bit. Coolio found the first pilot who weighs 200 lbs. They find one half of the code & the other one is found so they can put in the code for the box. The box blasts open and the missile is inside. It weighs 500 lbs and is 10 feet long but it is on wheels. *Coolio said it was simple and they should put a pilot on the missile. The squad decides to carry him instead. *Bingham thinks Coolio thinks he should be leader for both squads. *Lamas said Coolio talks too much. *Coolio said he’s not going to follow just anyone and would go A.W.O.L. if Lamas was his squad leader. They complete the mission with only 42 seconds remaining.
The mission is reviewed and were yelled at for not putting a pilot on the missile with wheels. They get in the truck and Lamas said for now on they have to listen to their leaders. *Lamas said he & Coolio are competitive & Coolio should keep his mouth shut. *Coolio said he doesn’t want Lamas to win cuz he’s too cocky. He thinks Bingham could be ok but she doesn’t have a clue. Bingham tells Coolio he was the first one out of line. Coolio said he will do his part.
They get their phone calls. A few say they would give up their phone call but was told they had to. Tiffany didn’t want to call her 9-year-old son cuz he wouldn’t understand that she could only talk for a minute and hang up on him. She called her Mom instead. Ziering checked her voicemail. Kaelin misdialed his daughter so left a message for a stranger saying he’s having a tough time at boot camp. Francisco asked why he left that message and why didn’t he hang up & dial again.
They have to pick new squad leaders. Bravo chose Lamas. Alpha chose Bingham again. DI Moore loses it & tells them they have to pick a new one. Williams is chosen. Bingham said she feels that she is the best for the job. She is told not to be selfish. She cried.
Rosenbum tells them they are ranked 1 – 10 & now is the time for 9 & 10 to be dismissed. He dismissed Vitamin C saying the rest have showed more improvement. Bingham is asked who she thinks is the next dismissed. She won’t, saying everyone has done well. Ziering is the other one dismissed.
The next mission is called Operation V.I.R.U.S. Vital Information Recall Under Stress. The teams will compete against each other. They are handcuffed & blindfolded and will be taken to a location where they will be questioned by opposing forces. They have to get information from the enemy and not give up anything. Winning team gets a nice dinner and the losers get M.R.E.s.
They are traveling in a truck for 2 hours and then go in a tent. 3 hours pass. It is 96 in the tent. 4 hours now. The enemy comes in & yells at them. He asks for their information. 5 hours. They are asked who their leader is. Faustino tells them they are with the Red Cross. 7 hours. After 8 Bingham cracks and tells them everything. Coolio tries to give false info to cover up for Bingham.
They are brought outside and now questioned about what intel they have learned while captured. Alpha gets first one wrong. Bravo gets it right. Alpha gets 2nd one wrong and Bravo gets it right. Alpha gets the 3rd one wrong and Bravo gets it right. Alpha gets the 4th one wrong. Bravo gets it right. Alpha ends up going 3/ 10 and Bravo gets 7/10. Bravo wins the meal. Francisco said the object was to give up no information and Bingham gave up all 3 DI’s names. *Williams said Bingham thought if she gave it up they would go easier on her. *Bingham said she won’t take the fault completely cuz there was no leader doing their job & no teamwork. (Whatever you need to tell yourself, honey.)
They do an obstacle course before the next dismissal. *Tiffany thinks Lamas will win cuz he’s in shape. *Moran said he didn’t expect Coolio to be there. *Williams said you have to look out for Faustino & Morvan. *Coolio said Williams wants it bad. *Kaelin said he will win. *Bingham said for some reason the DIs are pissed off at her. (Gee. I wonder why?)
Rosenbum does his thing at dismissal. Kaelin said he should stay and actions speak louder than words. Coolio said he is a killer and not afraid to die for what he believes in. He said he has a serious problem with incompetence. Bingham said she is staying. Williams is dismissed. Lamas said he is the best recruit. He said he thought he was better than Faustino cuz of his experience. Morvan is the other one dismissed. Now there are 6 left. Kaelin is told it is his time. Kaelin said his time to stay. Rosenbum said his time to go. He is dismissed. Rosenbum asked Coolio who will be the next dismissed. Coolio said not him, Tiffany. Rosenbum asked Tiffany what she thought about that and she said he’s right. Rosenbum said he is and dismissed Tiffany. Now there are only 4 recruits left. Lamas, Bingham, Faustino and Coolio.
*Moore said Lamas is a good leader. *Rosenbum said Bingham sung like a bird in the mission but she has improved the entire time.
They have to hang on a pull up bar and the last 2 holding on go on to the gauntlet. *Rosenbum said Faustino is learning from them and has changed. Coolio yells that his feet hurt. *Francisco said Coolio is strong mentally & physically. After 1:23 Faustino tries to adjust his grip and falls. *He said he thought he had it licked but he felt his hands open and he couldn’t stop it. Lamas falls at around 2 minutes. *Lamas said the muscles just let go. Bingham and Coolio will advance to the gauntlet.
They will endure a mental & physical marathon for the next 24 hours and they haven’t slept in 19 hours already. *Bingham said she focused on the flag and never lost her focus. *Coolio was thinking about his feet so he could take his thoughts off his arms and hands. He thinks Bingham can’t beat him.
The Gauntlet is 8 different challenges that are named for their fallen men. Every one that they win they get that person’s dog tags. The first one to get 9 dog tags wins. After the 3 challenges they meet the dismissed recruits on dismissal hill and they pledge their tags to which recruit they feel should win.
The first one is called Ziering’s Freeze. They have to stand in water while cold water sprays on their head. The water is 40 degrees. Coolio tells his body that the water is hot. Bingham quits at 1:38. Coolio wins. *Bingham said she could’ve stayed longer but got water up her nose & gagged.
Next is Williams’ Wall. They have to move pipes from one wall to another & they have to be in the same color order as the one in the middle. The one who does it the quickest wins. Coolio does it in 6:50. Bingham in 9:09. Coolio wins again.
Now is Moravan’s Maneuver. They have to run a course while there is gunfire. A lot of crawling under wires. At the end there is a 5 foot trench. Bingham had trouble getting out of it. She finished in 7:52. Coolio finished in 5:20. Coolio wins the 3rd event.
They haven’t slept in 28 hours. Next is Tiffany’s Tower. They have to repel off a tower and read intel on their way down that they have to remember. Coolio got 3 out of 4 correct. Bingham only got 1 right so Coolio wins the 4th event.
Next event is called Kaelin’s Code. A lsam is made on Kato for not remembering his area code. They have to match colored bombs to the grid and spell out the coded message and the quickest time wins. Bingham does it in 6:01. Coolio in 5:09. Coolio wins the 5th event. He has won everything so far.
Faustino’s Face Off is where they use paint balls to shoot at targets. Bingham hits 3 and Coolio hits 10 so he wins the 6th event.
They have been 36 hours without sleep. Coolio is caught sleeping so they beat on a trashcan lid to wake him. They yell at him.
Lamas’ Landing they have to run an obstacle course in the sand. They have to dig underneath a wall and crawl under it. They also have to crawl through tires that are hanging above the ground. Bingham does it in 5:30. Coolio in 3:32. They are then told that was a practice and now the one who beats their time by the most will win. Coolio finishes in 2:43 beating his time by :49. He roots Bingham on. She finished in 3:57 beating hers by 1:33 so she wins her first event. It is Coolio –6. Bingham – 1.
C’s Summit has them hanging from the pull up bar again. Coolio falls after 2:53. Bingham wins that event. Coolio – 6. Bingham – 2. The Gauntlet is over and they are told the results. Now the dismissed get to vote. First they write their choice in a book. Then they are called one at a time to a podium to voice their choice. The first one to get 9 dog tags will win the $50,000.
Morvan said he thought Coolio gave up and Bingham looked pretty but took care of business. He pledges his tags to Bingham.
*Bingham thinks Ziering will vote for her cuz they’re friends who both posed in Playboy. *Coolio said women have a camaraderie. Ziering said she was impressed with Coolio but believes Bingham had the most personal growth & pledged her tags to her. Bingham – 4. Coolio – 6.
*Bingham thinks Faustino will vote for her cuz he saw her highs & lows. *Coolio thinks he will vote for him cuz he’s the best recruit. Faustino said the vote is the hardest thing he’s done. He knows Coolio is strong & Bingham made an amazing transformation so pledges to her. Bingham – 5. Coolio – 6.
*Coolio thinks Lamas will vote for him cuz he’s a man’s man & won’t vote for a woman. Lamas said Coolio is a leader & would want him with him in combat but he sometimes speaks withouth listening. Bingham faced her fears and rose to the challenge. He pledges to Bingham. It is now tied at 6.
*Coolio think Kaelin will vote for him cuz they joked together the whole time. *Bingham said they’re personalities matched and she thinks he will vote for her. Kaelin said he thought he wouldn’t make it & he & Coolio bonded over both wanting to leave. He pledges to Coolio. Bingham – 6. Coolio – 7.
*Bingham doesn’t think Vitamin C will vote for her cuz C wanted to be the leader. *Coolio said it may be a ya ya sisterhood thing. Vitamin C said it’s about teamwork so she flipped a coin and pledges to Bingham. It’s tied.
*Coolio doesn’t know who Williams will vote for. Williams said he can’t give Bingham enough credit for giving up the luxuries she enjoys & Coolio is also out of his element & he conformed & committed. Williams pledged to Coolio. Bingham – 7. Coolio – 8.
Tiffany is the final vote. If she picks Bingham it’s a tie. If not, Coolio wins. *Coolio doesn’t think she will vote for him. *Bingham knows she will vote for her. Tiffany is proud as a female for Bingham. She feels Coolio has a lot of heart & an incredible leader. She pledges to Coolio so he wins.
Coolio takes the podium and said he’s nothing. He wasn’t even going to stay, or even come. He was going to go to the VMAs. He called Bingham up. He said they worked together all day & if she wasn’t there he wouldn’t have been able to make it. He tells the DIs that he has never, ever been motivated like that in his entire life & owes it to them more than his Mother or Father. *Francisco said for him to say he respected them more than his own Father was the hardest shot he’s ever taken in the chest his life. He said it was awesome and good he was standing at the position of attention cuz you’re not allowed to cry in that position.
All recruits that didn’t win are told to get off Rosenbum’s hill. *Coolio said he’s tired and wants to lay down. He said this is something to tell his children and grandchildren.
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