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Posted by: hugbug77 on Oct 02, 2003 - 08:15 PM
Television
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Well, guys and gals, we made it! The "it" that I'm referring to, of course, is the grand finale of Paradise Hotel, in which we'll finally see which couple wins the "Ultimate Prize", and for that matter, it'll finally be revealed what the hell that is! After a full summer of a show that started out pointless, it turned more and more competitive as the guests were actually given a reason to stay. And really, they weren't- no one knew what they were playing for! So with absolutely NO specific goal on the table, they endured the numerous twists and turns made up pretty much on the spot by our FOX producers, and eventually, it all played out in a way no one really expected, since obviously, you can't expect what doesn't yet exist...yet...
By: Hugbug77
www.MediaFiends.com
This article is owned by MediaFiends.com & may not be reproduced without permission.
Much like all reality show season finales that I've had the pleasure to endure, this final episode begins with a recap of the ENTIRE SEASON. If you didn't already know, it takes about eight minutes to recap this particular show. Now that might not sound like a real long time, but sitting on the couch, fresh out of liquor, with pen in hand, eight minutes of seeing everything that I've already seen takes a tad bit longer than eight minutes of new material. Just an observation.
So, after the mandatory review, they bring us back to the last five minutes of last week's episode. You know, all 6 remaining couples walking up the stairs, taking their seats, and Keith being pulled to the front to cast out the couple of his choice. "...Hard decision, lots of thoughts...yada yada...Scott and Holly, sorry." When it came down to it, Keith said he had to go with his word to Dave from day one.
Well, the outcasted couple is not happy, to say the least, Scott especially, and as they leave, he bypasses Dave completely for a hug. Ouch. But while Dave may be momentarily stung by this, he made it to the final four, so I don't think he really cares a whole lot. We are treated to the customary "Scott montage", and all of the Holly clips are shown within the Scott clips. See, that's why I'm glad they got cut. Holly was nothing but a shadow to Scott, and while Scott may have deserved to win, Holly did not. So I can't say I'm too sorry to see them go.
The final four gather together, and Dave attempts to talk with Keith, who is not receptive. Keith tells Dave that he put him in a bad situation, and tells Dave that he played the game the way he wanted to. Keith doesn't want to discuss it further. Meanwhile, Tara and Charla feel betrayed by Dave, and they both feel that Dave made them look bad.
Both remaining couples are in their rooms, and get a knock at the door. No, this time it's not the shocking twist we were all expecting; it's photo albums, complete with pictures from each person's respective journey over the summer. This is really just an excuse to kill 30 minutes of this looooong two-hour episode, as each time a picture is looked at, it is followed by the clip that chronicles the pic. For example: Charla looking at a picture of herself and Tara talking, followed by, "Oh, this was the time Tara and I were deciding to form an alliance...", followed by a clip. This is what happens for the next thirty minutes. Seriously.
Their purpose for the album is to put together their own scrapbook, which I'm assuming is just for fun, since it never comes up again. But, hey, it was a pretty cute idea, and a cool souvenir. And one of the more creative ways to blow through a finale.
Dinnertime in Paradise...black tie only. They have to make it formal for their last night in the hotel. Oops, did I just say "last night"? I shouldn't have said that yet, but no matter, here comes Amanda (host) with news that EVERYONE needs to pack their bags tonight because it is indeed, their last night in Paradise.
Wow. So final. No more Paradise? What will I do now? What will I watch on Mondays and Wednesdays, or Tuesdays and Wednesdays, or just Wednesdays, or just Tuesdays? And why did they never put this show on Thursdays? Nothing good on Thursdays except Friends. And that's almost over too. Temptation Island sucked. I'd never watched a single episode until this season, and I wish I'd just never watched a single episode, period. And I guess now I can go back to watching the Bachelor. Bob is funny. Andrew Tires-tone was kind of a doof. But I never watched much of him, either. You know what? I think I watch too much TV. But, dammit, that's what happens when I have to stay in all week long because I have to "get up early" the next day, and what else is there to do at home but watch TV? Okay, I'm getting WAY off base here...
After the visit from Amanda, the next people we see are Beau and Toni, walking in hand in hand. Now I'm thinking, they're all about to file in to complete the jury of the evicted guests. But apparently, Beau and Toni have different plans. They simultaneously announce, "We're back in the game!"
WHAT?!?!?!?!??!!??! WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And of course, they cut to commercial. Now this is the point I grab my phone and call my best friend at work (her fault I even watch this show, by the way), and stumble over my words as I try to tell her that in a SHOCKING TWIST, Beau and Toni are back in. Her reaction is about the same as mine, and as the commercials wind down, I promise to call her each time another shocking twist presents itself. Heart racing, I hang up the phone, and we're back to Paradise.
And.....
They're just kidding. Ha. Ha. Very. Funny. Nice one. I try to call Angela back, but the line's busy, and I figure I'd better just wait till closer to the end, just in case FOX pulls another fake out like that one. Oh, and they will. Well, they manage to fool the foursome too, and after announcing that they are in fact just kidding, they say that really they'll all be back tomorrow to decide who the final winners will be, and they want the remainders to write a speech about why they each should win. Toni exits with her patented "Game on", and I'm brought back to the days of "Love Cruise", where she had previously sat on a jury to vote on the winning couple after she had been evicted. Starting to sense a pattern with this girl.
In their room, Charla tells Dave she is furious with him, and wants to know if he's lied to everyone the whole time. Dave says no, and that he would never lie to her. Charla says she'd never do that, and they are lucky to have made it this far. She doesn't want to be associated with anyone that would betray Keith and Tara. Dave is depressed, and comments that it will be easier to compete with Keith if he's angry at him, which Charla says he has no reason to be. Charla would rather be eliminated than compete with her friends.
In the other room, Keith and Tara are ecstatic about their current situation. Keith notes that he is 100% against Dave at this point. He tells Tara that they have an unbelievable chance to win, and he wants it.
While preparing speeches, Dave says that he could get himself to cry if he wanted to. Charla doesn't want to write a speech, unlike Dave, who begins reciting a speech about not saying he's sorry, and whether they love or hate him, he feels like he developed some strong friendships. Charla asks Dave if he'll ever visit her in Minnesota, and tells him he can stay on her floor. Hee hee hee, that's pretty funny. That way he has no chance of touching her bare skin! Plus, the python shares the bed with Charla... reptiles feel cool.
At breakfast the next morning, Keith jokes to Dave that they need to get Charla and Tara off, and at the girl’s table, Charla is nervous, and worried about having to go against Tara.
The jury gathers together, and Charla and Tara take a seat in front of them with Dave and Keith standing behind them. Now it's time for questions. Here's where it gets a little messy. This is like a free-for-all, no-holds-barred edition of Pandora's Box, and the questions fly.
Andon asks Dave if he wins, will it be worth having gotten it by stabbing people in the back to get there? Dave says no, not if he comes out of this with no friends.
Matt notes that Dave was all about honesty and being mature, but yet he talked about everyone behind their backs, even those in his alliance. Dave says he hopes he didn't embarrass anyone.
Alex tells Dave to stop playing his violin, and instead back up what he's said, to which Dave responds that he doesn't want to look like a sleaze. Um, Dave, it might be a little late for that, considering your behavior the past couple weeks!
Toni asks Tara about a comment she made to vote Charla off, and Tara explains that she and Charla have an understanding.
Zack asks Keith about hooking up with Charla behind Dave's back, if they were such good friends, and Keith explains that it was mutual flirting between him and Charla.
Desiree says Charla didn't participate in most of the activities and spent most of her time in her room and acted like a prima donna. Charla asks her WHO treated her like that? Scott says she treated herself that way, and Charla explains that that's her personality; she is more withdrawn. She mentions that at this moment, sitting in front of everyone, she is extremely nervous. Desiree asks if she thinks she deserves to be where she is, and Charla responds that there are plenty of people more deserving, and she's wanted to go home for a while now because she misses her family.
Toni notes that they all had the option to check out at any time, and Charla says that while she wanted to, she couldn't bring herself to quit. Surprisingly, that was a really good answer, and even Toni seems satisfied with that.
Scott wants an explanation from Keith about his decision in the final hour, after Scott had brought to light all Dave's lying and backstabbing, and he had been nothing but honest. Keith says that while it might have made it harder for him, he had to stay true to his word with Dave. They had said that if the four of them could make it to the end, they would. And props to Keith for sticking to his word. I'm reminded again of Beau's decision to stick with Amanda, even when everyone wanted to go against her, and how Beau kept his word no matter what. Loyalty. It might be hard to do sometimes, but it really makes you look good!
Alex asks Keith about his decision to boot Zack from the beginning, and how Keith said he hadn't made his choice about Zack right at the start. However, after watching the tapes, the evictees saw Keith tell Tara at the start that "it would be crazy" to kick him off. Keith doesn't deny it, but mentions when he took Kristin on his excursion, she drilled him hard about it. Keith says he chose his team based on who he thought he'd go far with.
Holly speaks up and asks Dave, by lying to her from the beginning, and telling her she was his Number 2 (which Amy chimes in that SHE was supposed to be his Number 2), Dave, what did you have to gain by saying that? Dave responds, "Well, I'm standing here!"
HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!! The jury doesn't like that answer, and really, it's pretty dickish, but it is funny. Suckers!!! But damn, Dave, could you BE any more cocky??
Toni tries to tell Charla to shut Dave up, since he's digging them a hole, but Charla says she can't.
Matt comments to Charla that she teamed up with the wrong person. Charla looks like she silently agrees.
In closing, Charla starts off the speeches. She says that she knows people have said bad things about her, and likewise, she has too, but she will not hold any grudges.
Dave, forgoing the speech idea that he had earlier, throws himself on the mercy of the court and decides to try the closest thing he can come to honesty. He starts by saying that having the "power" sucks, and yes, he has lied. He says that he's had good, bad, and even ugly times throughout his stay at the hotel, and he won't know till it's all done how many friends he's made out of this ordeal. He notes that he's made three, gesturing to Tara, Keith, and Charla, and the rest of his speech is about Charla, having and dealing with feelings towards her, and being proud to have her as a roommate. The response from the jurors is a lot of eye rolling and "pshaw-ing".
Tara and Keith have a combined speech, which Tara starts. She says that this place made her do things that were way out of her character, and she doesn't act like this at home. She says that she brought on stress on her own, and she thanks the jury for helping her realize her faults.
Keith concludes that this has been an emotional roller coaster, for all, and everyone there has good hearts. At this point, he starts to cry, or something real close to crying, as do some of the guests. He says he learned a lot, and has a lot of growing up to do, and they all showed him that, especially Amy. He says he didn't mean the bad things he said, and he hopes he will change for the better. At this point, all the girls are crying. It's really very emotional, almost sickeningly so.
Everybody disperses, and goes their own separate ways. Alex, Beau, and Zack comment that they like Charla and Keith, and wish it was an individual vote.
Dave, too, hopes it will be an individual vote, for Charla's sake. Charla comments that she's found out a lot about Dave lately that she never knew.
Toni leads the rest of the group in an "I hate Dave" discussion.
Keith tells Tara about a comment Toni made about Tara sleeping her way to the top. They don't care. (It got her there, didn't it?) And it's not like she lied, or anything, she just gave the guys a little taste of what they wanted anyways.
Back in the room, Charla confesses to Dave that when he was originally voted on, she was the only girl who didn't vote for him. BURN! He says it's okay, in that way that means it's really not but he has to act like it doesn't bother him. Then, for some egotistical reason, Dave starts ranting about Scott, and how he shouldn't be mad at Dave, because Dave "kept" him there all summer, and "let" him make it to the final six.
KEPT him there, Dave? Like you did him a favor? Scott had no reason to GET voted off! And just because you happened to end up with voting power more than once, Scott doesn't owe you ANYTHING for not voting him out! He was your friend, and that should be enough of a reason to keep someone! Okay, now Dave is starting to get under my skin a little more than before, with his ALL-POWERFUL f*ing attitude. Poor Charla. That's all I can say. Poor Charla.
Now it's time for the final ceremony, where, according to all the previews, all our questions will be answered. What is the meaning of life? How far up is up? No? Not all those questions? Oh, questions about the show. Gotcha.
Toni comments that this sucks, that two of them should be up there. Alex asks Charla if she could be up there with a different guy, would she? She says no, and he says that will affect his vote. Ouch.
Desiree just wants to say that she wants everyone to drop the animosity, and let's just all be friends, which brings the whole middle row together in one hug. Awwww, how f*ing sweet. You know, this would've been fine from anyone else, but Desiree was only there for a little bit, and...oh, never mind, I'm through bitching.
But, wait! There's a twist! "This is the only way you can win the ultimate prize...you must now switch partners, and play against your teammate. Dave with Tara, and Keith with Charla." WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?
HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!! This time, that wasn't only me laughing, this particular HA HA came from the WHOLE group of jurors, who are thrilled about this new twist! Need I say more? This is how they wanted it, and now more than ever confirms my suspicions that this whole show was rigged and the producers had an idea who they wanted to win. But that's neither here nor there. Poor Tara, but good for Charla! She deserves it. The jurors vote, and with probably a landslide vote (they never actually show who votes for who- I'd have liked to have seen that) the winners of Paradise Hotel are... Keith and Charla!!!! (Cue happy Paradise music)
And what do they win? $250,000 each! Nice. Amanda gives them each an envelope with the checks for the money. But wait...what's Paradise without another freaking twist? Each envelope contains two checks, each for $125,000, which the winners have the option to keep, or split with their original partners. They have thirty minutes to mull this over.
(Cue Final Jeopardy music here)
Toni and Melanie visit Charla, and Toni feels strongly about Charla keeping the money. Alex visits Keith, and tells him that the general consensus is that he keep his money, too.
Decision time.
Keith and Tara: He tells her she's an amazing person, blah blah blah, but what it boils down to is that it could help her family if she had some money. Tara refuses to accept it, but Keith beats her to the punch and writes her name on the check. Couldn't have done it without you... Tara says she knew he was the sweetest most thoughtful guy, and she was right. Happy happy joy joy for those two!
Charla and Dave: Charla tells Dave she was going back and forth in her decision, and even cried because it was the hardest decision she's ever had to make. She asks Dave what he would do if she offered him the money. He says that he'd want to make sure she was doing it for the right reasons (translation: I'm a greedy bastard and I'd take it in a heartbeat). She then asks if their friendship will be affected if she keeps it. He says it wouldn't, and he'd be okay with that, but Charla notices a thing he does with his mouth that he does when he is either lying or mad. She enforces how important their friendship is, and Dave concurs that he knew she was going to take it. Charla says she wasn't, and Dave lights up like a f*n Christmas tree. Charla cuts in quickly, saying AT FIRST she was going to give it to him, and he asks what changed her mind. Charla decided that she deserves it, and hopes Dave won't hold that against her. He promises that money won't affect their friendship.
Joining the group, Charla announces that she's keeping the money. Keith tells everyone that he split his with Tara, and they talked it over, and are taking everyone to Vegas! Yay!
(Cue happy Paradise music with everyone singing the lyrics to the song)
And so ends the first season of Paradise Hotel. It looks like it worked out the way it was supposed to. Dave got the karmic backlash from his deceitful scheming in the end, and Charla, Tara, and Keith are walking away rich and happy. Keith proved his point, too, and showed that it doesn't matter how many threats you receive; in the end, good will prevail.
I would like to thank each and every one of you for joining me in these recaps, and I have truly enjoyed following such a smarmy (yet deliciously addictive) show. I'll try to find a way to be back for season two of PH, although it might be awhile- I will now be responsible for getting my own computer rather than using this one here at work- but I'd love to do this with you again soon! So thank you, and good night! I hope you had as much fun as I did! I'm outta here for now...I got- two tickets to Paradise...two tickets to Paradise...pack your bags and leave tonight...............two tickets to Paradise!!
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